John and Tyler just left for our stake's annual father/son camp out. I have a free night all to myself.
Tonight while we were eating right before they left Tyler asked, "Amy, will you miss us when we are gone?" My thought was to say, "Not at all! I get the whole quiet house to myself, I don't have to clean up after anyone, entertain anyone, put anyone to bed..." Well, you get the point.
Instead, I paused for a minute and thought, then said, "Yes. I will miss you." (He then suggested that if I got lonely I could go get on Facebook or call someone, which was quite cute.)
After they left and I stared thinking about it, I realized that I do miss them. You see, almost two years ago, I was the one who was going to leave. I don't think an 8 year old would ever understand that I almost did miss him. I made a decision to stay here with John and the kids rather than join the Foreign Service. I almost missed out on a noisy, chaotic house. I almost missed out on cleaning up after everyone. I almost missed out on entertaining everyone. I almost missed out on putting kids to bed.
The other night when I was feeling stressed out from trying to organize a house we just moved into, working full time, taking care of a family and meeting church obligations, John said, "If you wanted stability and predictability, just think...you could be at a US embassy in Libya or Yemen right now where your life would be much more stable." Very funny, honey. Point well-taken.
So with all the challenges of being a stepmom, a wife and a crazy pregnant lady, I am glad I am not missing out on any of this. Because all of it is good.
